THE CRUEL COMFORT OF ALMOST GIVING UP: WHAT TAYLOR SWIFT KNOWS ABOUT HOPE THAT HURTS
"All the times I second-guessed myself, wondering if it was ever going to be possible. I almost stopped thinking it could ever happen." — Taylor Swift on reclaiming her entire catalogue, 2025
Taylor Swift has proven time and again how much she feels what we do in significant moments of our lives. From falling in love, to falling apart, to wanting something so desperately that hope becomes its own form of torture.
This is the cruel mathematics of desire: the more you want it, the more it hurts to keep believing you'll ever get it. The dream, the person, the future…will we ever call it ours at all? More often than not, hoping and wishing too much leads us down that rabbit hole of making ourselves believe it's too impossible to hold. But it's not about giving up. Not at all.
It's about that dangerous and delicate space right before giving up, where hope transforms into self-harm.
The Hope That Hurts
There's a specific kind of hope that doesn't inspire you to fight: the one that slowly kills you. Have you ever wanted something so badly you could almost taste it? But because it's too far out of your reach, you feel stupid to believe it's ever going to come true. The roadblocks down the winding path to that prize now become proof that it's always been unattainable to begin with. Every obstacle, every fall, every single blow from behind, becomes an affirmation of how much it doesn't make sense. They become layers of protection, and the very reason we convince ourselves to want it even less. Because "I almost stopped thinking it could ever happen," is our human instinct to survive.
Think about the person who stops talking about their dreams because other people's reactions hurt too much. "That's not a real goal." "Get a real job." "How much money can that hobby make?" "Will you even survive with that online business thing?"
Or the one who overly "gets realistic" about love after their 13th heartbreak. True love means doing this and not that. Deciding this and not that. Avoiding this and not that. Or how about that friend who says, "Whatever, I don't even care anymore," when you know they care the most?
The most excruciating part isn't the disappointment. It's how we punish ourselves for hoping in the first place.
A.k.a., if I don't hope, I can't be disappointed. It's the deceiving comfort of, "It's safer to be cynical than crushed." After all, it's easier to expect nothing than risk everything, right? It's like covering yourself with a protective layer of numbness. And this numbness feels like wisdom when it's actually just fear in a different shade. We think we're protecting ourselves, but we're actually just rehearsing defeat.
The Difference Between Giving Up and Getting Tired
Taylor didn't stop wanting her music back. She stopped waiting for someone else to hand it to her.
Here's what betrayal reveals about someone's true character: it either breaks you or shows you exactly what you're made of. If nobody has ever made this crystal clear for you, Taylor Alison Swift works harder than any other musician of our generation. First of all, she's a woman. Second, she's been the media's target since the dawn of Debut. When people say she's "the music industry," it means she is. Period.
When they betrayed her by taking the rights to her music - her own art, the songs she literally wrote about her life - she said "fuck it," and started re-recording them. Then she went and gave us the biggest tour of the century, outperforming herself every single fucking night for 2 years. Just so she could purchase her entire life's work and own it with no strings attached. Not a single fucking one.
Because she got tired of hoping someone would save her. Have you ever felt the exhaustion of waiting for permission to have what you want? It's not a pretty place to be. But you'll have this realization: the only person keeping you from your dreams is you.
So, stop hoping a special fairytale character will realize your worth; become someone whose worth is undeniable. Stop hoping for the perfect opportunity; create opportunities so good they can't ignore you. Stop waiting to feel …Ready for It? Get sick of waiting for the perfect moment, get tired of the courage that never comes.
Go from "Why can't I ever have it? Why won't this happen for me?" to "What am I gonna do about it?"
Hope as Fuel vs. Hope as Prison
Taylor Swift channeled 20 years of wanting into 5 years of building something bigger than her original dream. I can't even begin to explain how incredible that is. Because she did one thing significantly right: She treated hope as fuel, and not as prison.
Hope is as dangerous as it is essential. When you hope so hard that you forget to act, it becomes a deep, dark cell of prison. In that empty cell, you sit and wait for the universe to give you what you want instead of going after it yourself. And still, in that lonely cave, hope turns you passive…you chant, "Someday, it will happen."
Not Taylor. This betrayal became the reason she worked harder than everyone else. She just didn't want it back, she built an empire that made buying them back inevitable. She didn't just think, "I'm gonna make this happen." She got to work and breathed the dream into life.
Prison hope keeps you waiting. Fuel hope keeps you working. Pick your poison.
The Moment Hope Stops Hurting
"My mind is just a slideshow. A flurry of memories of all the times I fantasized about, wished for, and prayed for a chance to get to tell you this news."
The moment your dreams stop being things you wish for. The moment you stop hoping and start celebrating. All the sleepless nights, the endless days of doubt, the harsh remarks, they all brought you here, where everything is finally real.
The once unattainable is now in your hands. Because somewhere along the way, you stopped explaining your dreams to people who didn't get it. You were too busy creating to spend time hoping. The people who ever dared to doubt you simply became irrelevant.
Now you didn't just get what you wanted, you got it on your own terms. With "no strings attached, no partnership, and with full autonomy."
Stop Hoping, Start Building
What if you treated your dreams the way Taylor treated her life's work? Here's your challenge, right now:
Pick one thing you've been hoping for that feels impossible. Write it down. Ask yourself: "What would I do if hope wasn't enough?"
Now stop waiting for conditions to be perfect. Start creating conditions that work. Today. This week. Channel that desperate wanting into one concrete action that moves you forward.
Be like Taylor Swift: Don't just hope for what you want, become someone who can take it.
When Hope Becomes History
"Thanks to you and your goodwill, teamwork, and encouragement, the best things that have ever been mine... finally are."
The best things that could ever be yours are waiting for you to stop hoping and start claiming them.
Hope that hurts is hope that's waiting for someone else to act. Hope that heals is hope that gets you moving.
Stay Soulful,
Jopaz